Gahden Gremlins

Canucks fans have become the Roger Chillingworth to the Bruins’ Hester Prynne, a group of spiteful individuals who feel spurned and wronged because we took “their” Stanley Cup, and cannot for the life of them let it go. The Stanley Cup Finals were over eight months ago and this year’s playoffs are but two months away, and yet some individual just decided to do this to Milan Lucic’s (a Vancouver native, as we all know) church.

The nature of the action speaks for itself. But rather than give these clowns any more time of day, it’s time that we in Boston begin categorically ignoring them. There is no revenge to be had when the antagonist is 3,000 miles away; pissing and moaning over the internet only brings us down to their level. I implore you, ignore these fucking morons. They’re like that one ex you dated for two weeks in high school and broke up with because he/she was a total psycho, and then you had to deal with their desperate cries for attention for the following year or so because they had some ridiculous mental issues that weren’t your fault. Eventually, you learned that the best way to deal with it was to stop reacting, because that’s what enabled it to continue in the first place. So it should be here.

The Boston Bruins’ natural rivals are the Montreal Canadiens, geographical rivals since the Bruins’ inception in 1924; the Buffalo Sabres, divisional rivals since the Sabres’ inception in 1970; the Philadelphia Flyers, conference rivals since 1981 and frequent playoff rivals of the Bruins in the 1970s; and the New York Rangers, owing to a city-wide rivalry that permeates the culture of both Boston and New York.

That’s the end of the list. We’re keeping it that way unless we meet in the Stanley Cup Finals again. There are better things to do than feud with an opponent who we play once a year.

- Stache