Gahden Gremlins

What do you get for the man that has everything?

A smokin’ hot supermodel wife? Nah.

Multiple Super Bowl championships? Been there, done that.

Lots of endorsement deals? No. (And no, we’re not fucking linking to Ugg boots.)

Sycophantic, mindless idol worship? Yeah, that sounds about right.

So happy birthday to you, Tom Brady, obviously the greatest quarterback football player dude in Boston sports history, with apologies to a lot of other great dudes who have played sports in this town. Three championships in his first four years? 50 passing touchdowns? The only 16-0 regular season record in NFL history? Guy’s a living legend and a first ballot Hall of Famer.

I mean, I guess the best present for a guy like that is a sixth Super Bowl appearance… except this one had better end in a fourth ring. Hint, hint, rest of the 53-man roster.

- Stache